Dating with Herpes: You Are Obligated to Disclose Your Herpes Status to Your New Partner
If you have herpes then it can be difficult to disclose this information to someone new that you are dating. If you tell them early in the relationship, they will likely leave you immediately because they will be afraid of contracting the disease from you. But if you wait until the relationship gets serious before you tell them, it will just complicate things a lot more. This is especially true if your partner wants to have sex with you. At this point, you could either tell them the truth before the sex or hide the truth and have sex with them anyway. The decision you make in this scenario could change the rest of your life, as well as the life of your partner.
Of course, having sex without disclosing your STD status would be unethical and even illegal. In many states, it is a criminal offense to not disclose your STD status to your partner. And even if you’re in a state where it is not a criminal offense, you could still be faced with a civil lawsuit over it. Therefore, your best bet would be to tell your partner before any sexual intercourse takes place. That way, you don’t end up giving your partner herpes and then have them come back with a lawsuit against you.
Legal troubles have happened to a lot of people who were merely too embarrassed to tell their partner the truth early on. In fact, this kind of thing has happened to famous people too. The famous singer named Usher had to pay out $1.1 million after a woman successfully sued him in court because she claimed he gave her herpes. For most people, they cannot afford to pay a million dollars from a lawsuit. That would put them into bankruptcy and they would lose everything. On top of that, if STD non-disclosure is a criminal offense in your state, then you will have to worry about paying a defense attorney to defend you in criminal court as well. With all these worries, it is simply not worth hiding the truth from your partner.
So, what is the best way of telling your partner you have herpes? The best way is in person. Do not text or email your herpes status. This needs to be done in a situation where you sit down privately with your partner and tell them the truth in the gentlest way possible. Then, after you tell them, try to educate them on the way in which you can protect them from contracting the herpes virus. Promise that you will always have protected sex with them but also educate them on the risks of that too. In the end, it will have to be their decision.